Somedays it feels like I am on a wire trying to stay on the line but slipping and realizing the net is too far down and I’m falling like Alice down a dark hole. On top of that I’m afraid of heights so why was I on the wire to begin with. You see there is too much time between this line and the net. Too much time to think but not to react or do anything to stop it.
Today I am writing a long note just to say I need to focus. I need to use that time between the net and the line to realign my meaning to set in motion the next task but without offsetting all the other things I need to balance on my beam.
I am stretched too thin and forgetting things I need to write down everything.
But the dark hole I’m falling down has everything I’m failing to catch right in front of me allowing me to see all the missing pieces I have lost and am needing to find again.
As I peer into the darkness I am seeing that all the pieces I have lost are just pieces of me.
I have all the cards of family, work, and school but it’s the art, the music, the paintings that have become lost on me. I reach for them and lose something else and in my hurry I reach to get it back. And all the while I am still falling. Where is the net? Why has it not caught me yet?
In my desperation to try and do all things I forget that there is a net. A net that hasn’t caught me yet but that will. A net that will allow me to slow down and take a moment to gather my thoughts and all of my things and get rid of the excess that I no longer need.
As I was falling I was frantically trying to hold on to every moment every piece desperately screaming you can not forget me yet! And I had forgotten about the net.
I finally land and bounce just slightly enough that a few things fall away. But they are not things I need to look for today.
I slowly gather my things and gather my thoughts and roll off the net and begin slowly to climb again. This time I will not forget the net, I will not rush through the wire, I will start with the balance beam. Pause and take a breath. I can do it all if I just try to take my time. I can have my life and my dreams too. I don’t have to give it all up for you. You are the thing that has fallen off the net. Because I was holding on so tight I did forget that you never chose me back so I needed to let the idea of you fall away from me and my net. One day you may return but not today. Today is for me, my life, my lines, and my net. Today is the day I let you go and forget.
With Love,
Poetry With Me 
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