Poetry With Me

I want to do so many things but I’m sitting here watching the day pass reminding myself of all the things that need to be done.

This depression takes hold and I can’t complete a single task, not a single one.

I berate myself in my head.

…Why can’t you just do it?

It’s not that hard…

… Just get up!

And I can’t, I can’t force myself to open up.

I can’t force myself to do the things I need to do for myself.

Why can’t I ever put me first?

Why?..

I wish I could just choose to do something and do it.

But the anxiety opens up and the self doubt as soon as I try.

It lives in my mind. And it cripples me it’s like struggling across the floor after being stabbed by my own predator.

I’m bleeding out with no visible wounds.

My head is telling me I’m not worth the work I need to put in to do what I need to do.
And here I am again.

Typing to you instead of doing all the tasks I need to do.

I wish I could let go of this feeling this anxiety this stress.

I want to bandage this wound and let it heal.

I want to let go of everything I feel.
To not allow it to compound and restrain me.

I want to breathe freely.

With Love,

gv Rioz